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| Hasan |
‘Hasan Amiri: Masculine Vulnerability.’
It said my name. I smiled from ear to ear. I had to take a moment.
So much had happened in these last few weeks. I had felt so much anger for so long. I had refused to see Anthony. After I had yelled at him on the phone a few times he didn’t end up coming home. Once I did see him, a full week after I had found out about his affair, he didn’t really have a good explanation for why he had done what he did. It only made me angrier.
To top it off, I asked if he was staying in a hotel. He said no. I just wanted to know if he had a place to stay, so I insisted until he revealed he was staying with Tom and his husband. Anthony hadn’t come back to the apartment to this day. I had started collecting his things and putting them in boxes.
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| Lorenzo |
In my studio, I took my anger out on paintings. Nothing that was suitable for the exhibit. My paintings were dark, sometimes sad, sometimes angry for a few weeks on end. I saved them all. Looking at them instantly made me sad now, still. But some day I hoped to look at them and see if I would want to sell them or put them up for another exhibit someday.
It had now been six weeks since the heartbreak. I was so glad to have the exhibit to focus on. I took a photo on my phone of my name outside of SEMVA Art Gallery. Which was a 5 minute walk from my apartment. I sighed. I stepped inside.
Jennifer, the owner immediately came up to me.
“The man of the hour!”
I smiled. She hugged me.
Two weeks ago she had visited me at my studio. She had been slightly shocked at the paintings with erect penises, the one picturing ejaculation especially. She had giggled nervously and said that she could only have those up during the opening night, not during the day.
“Don’t wanna get in trouble!”, she had chuckled.
Jennifer proudly showed off my paintings in her gallery. It was always exciting to see my work hanging somewhere outside of my studio, exposed to stranger’s eyes. Especially paintings that had been reserved for my own eyes for a long time.
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| Lorenzo |
I had made flyers with a selection of my work printed on them, a short bio, and my website and contact information. Everything was laid out and ready. I was hoping people would take home the flyers and be interested in finding my other work as well.
Before it was time for the opening night to begin, I went to the bathroom to fix my shirt, my tie and my hair. I saw myself in the mirror. Even when I smiled, there was sadness in my eyes. I knew people who didn’t know me wouldn’t notice.
“I am an artist”, I whispered to myself.
I thought back to 15 year-old me, doodling during class. He would be so proud. I took a deep breath and walked out.
My parents were the first people to walk in and it was so good to see the pride in their expressions. I had been able to prepare them for the type of paintings they would be seeing and they still insisted on coming. My nervousness was quickly taken away when they admired each and every painting.
Many friends showed up, which was touching. Though interestingly, so did complete strangers. Jennifer introduced me to several people who would then ask me questions about the work. I was surprised how many people showed up.
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| Hasan |
Just as I was talking to some friends, Jennifer took my arm.
“I am so sorry, I have to steal him for just a second”, she said.
I allowed her to take me somewhere, surely to meet even more random strangers she had invited.
She led me to ‘Sink’, the painting I had spontaneously made that ended up looking more Lorenzo than I at the time wanted to admit. In front of them stood a couple I had already met. Tom and Joe, who had made the drive from Dellwood by St. Paul. I was confused.
Jennifer took a sticker and stuck it to the description next to the painting. It said ‘SOLD’. I gasped. The prices I had her write down in my studio two weeks ago were much higher than I usually ask, because the gallery gets a sizable portion of the money. I would rather sell through my website after the exhibit. But someone… Tom and Joe in fact, had been willing to pay this exorbitant amount for my improvised painting of Lorenzo.
It made me emotional. I thanked them profusely.
“It will look so beautiful in the study”, Joe smiled.
I told my parents and they became even prouder of me. They wanted to know who the buyers were. I wanted to carefully point out Tom and Joe without them noticing, but they had already left the gallery.
People were gradually starting to leave and I was satisfied and exhausted at the same time.
“That went really well, didn’t it?”, Jennifer asked me.
“I am so happy. Thanks so much for everything.”
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| Lorenzo |
When he looked eyes with me, he smiled.
“Hey”, he said.
It was the most soft-spoken I had ever heard him.
A few days after I had seen Wendell’s Instagram story, I got this long e-mail from Lorenzo. It had definitely left an impact. I remembered certain parts from it.
‘I’m not sure you’re in any way interested in hearing from me.’ (…) ‘It was so good to get to know you in this last week. I realize now that I didn’t really know you before. You were just my best friend’s quiet boyfriend, who I thought disliked me. You ended up helping me grow so much, I feel like I owe you the world.’ (…) ‘Thanks so much for opening your home to me and being friendly to me in a time when I felt the most alone. Nothing would please me more to return the favor, but I am sure you have others who are more suited to fill that role. I can imagine if I remind you too much of him. Yet if there is anything at all I can do, please let me know.’
I had never responded. I regretted that now, but I didn’t have room in my mind for Lorenzo for a while. For some reason now, his presence made me happy.
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| Lorenzo |
“Come here!”
I walked to him and hugged him.
“Congratulations”, he said softly.
“I am so happy you’re here!”
The painting that Lorenzo posed for was the first one to catch the eye from the entrance.
“Fuck!”, he exclaimed. “Look at my massive ass!”
I chuckled.
Jennifer just walked toward him as well.
“Several bids on that tonight as well”, she mentioned.
“As well?”
Lorenzo looked at me with a questioning look.
I walked him to the ‘Sink’ painting and pointed out the sticker.
“Oh wow, well done!!”
He hugged me again.
“I assume you’re the model for these three paintings?”
Jennifer pointed at the ‘Shower’, ‘Sink’, and ‘Asleep’ paintings. Lorenzo only posed for the ‘Shower’ one. He didn’t know he was the inspiration for the other two. He had never seen the ‘Asleep’ one.
“Oh wow… Am I?”
I chuckled.
“You modeled for one, but inspired these two as well.”
The widest smile appeared on his face.
“That’s awesome.”
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| Lorenzo |
“You deserve this success. You are so talented and such an inspiration”, he told me.
Seeing him across from me in the booth, something fluttered in my stomach. He was like a different man.
“It’s so good to see you like this”, he told me. “I can still see some sadness in your eyes, but you are clearly on the mend.”
I looked down and smiled. He was the only one to tell me upfront what I also saw when I looked in the mirror.
“How is Anthony?”
“I, uhm… I don’t know.”
“Why?”
“We haven’t really been in touch. He… changed. He’s not letting me in. I feel like he doesn’t know why he did it either and he needs some time to figure himself out.”
I nodded. Lorenzo could be right. Somehow it made me sad Anthony had at least temporarily also lost his best friend. And so did Lorenzo.
“And how about you?”, I asked. “Beth? Lydia? Anyone else?”
Lorenzo chuckled.
“Neither worked out, and you know what? I’ve been single for over a month now.”
“Wow! That is unlike you.”
“I know”, he laughed. “I needed it though.”
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| Lorenzo |
“Can I… Can I be honest?”, he asked me.
He didn’t wait for an answer, but took my hand.
“I… I’ve been thinking about you.”
I smiled.
“It’s rare for me to develop feelings for men and I… I don’t really know how…”
I could tell he was struggling to express his feelings. It was clearly something that wasn’t in his nature.
“You know what, I didn’t prepare to say any of this. I guess I’m just really happy to see you.”
He smiled his sexy smile. I didn’t know what to say or do. I just knew what he meant. I reached out and put my hand on top of his, which was still on top of mine.
“I’m really happy to see you too.”
We had a few drinks and chatted some more. Even though I felt tired, I didn’t want to say goodbye to Lorenzo. The romantic atmosphere was there every now and then, even though neither of us acted up on it.
“It’s getting late. You must be tired after that night”, Lorenzo said at one point.
He was right. I just hoped I would see him again and I wasn’t sure what would happen if we said goodbye now.
Lorenzo took his phone out to order an Uber. He said he now lived in this fancy apartment by Meadow Park.
“Hey, promise me you will come visit me for lunch at the hospital again”, he then said. “It’s right here after all.”
“Are… Are you sure you don’t want to spend the night at the apartment? For old time’s sake?”
He looked up from his phone.
“Saves you a late night Uber across town. Just walk home with me.”
“OK, I guess.”
He shrugged and put his phone away.
“I am so glad you stopped by tonight”, I said.
“I was kind of nervous how you would react to seeing me.”
Lorenzo wrapped his arm around my waist as we walked. I returned the favor and my forearm and hand casually lowered to the upper curve of his butt.
At this point we both knew what was going to happen.
Already in the elevator we couldn’t contain ourselves. Our first kiss started out gentle on the first floor. By the time the doors opened again, our increasing horniness had taken over. I had one hand on the back of his head and one on his ass. I felt his boner against mine. Lorenzo’s moans turned me on so much.
Once we were in the apartment, I grabbed Lorenzo’s hand and took him to the bedroom. We stood next to the bed and kissed until Lorenzo pulled away.
“Can I… Can I suck your cock?”
He asked me so sincerely. I smiled. I replied by undoing my belt buckle and dropping my slacks to the floor. My erection was clearly visible in my underwear.
“Fuck”, he whispered as he lowered himself to his knees.
Lorenzo took my briefs off and licked my cock.
“It’s so fucking huge”, he said, admiring it.
He tried to take it in his mouth and maybe got a third of the way down. It still felt good.
As he sucked my cock, I took off my tie and shirt.
“I want to get better at it”, he admitted after trying for a while to take it down further and failing.
I pulled Lorenzo up and got him to take off his shirt. I kissed his chest as I took his slacks off at the same time.
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| Lorenzo |
“You’re… really, really good at that”, he moaned.
However, his ass was the main attraction to me. I asked Lorenzo to get on the bed on all fours. His smooth hole became visible and it was fucking hot. I kneeled down to rim him. He gasped at the first lick.
“Fuck. That feels so good.”
Lorenzo’s moaning got higher and louder.
“Oh my God… that’s opening me up so good.”
His ass was so beautiful, I couldn’t stop playing with it, kissing it, licking his hole… until I became so horny I had to fuck him.
I had Lorenzo roll over on his back and pull his knees up.
“It’s been a while”, he mumbled. “And you’re… big, so…”
“Don’t worry”, I said. “I’ll be gentle.”
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| Lorenzo |
“Oh wow…”
His eyes rolled up and he threw his head back. I was surprised how easily my cock went in. It was like his hole sucked me in.
I carefully started fucking him. Lorenzo threw his arms over his head and let me have my way with him.
“Fuuuck… You’re stretching me open.”
I was so gentle not to hurt him, but he took my cock like an absolute champ. A pool of precum was forming just below his navel.
“You… you can go faster”, he then said.
I increased my speed only a little bit.
“Fuck yes.”
Lorenzo’s ass seemed to actively push back on my cock so I would go deeper inside of him.
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| Lorenzo |
“Oh my God, you are so sexy”, he whispered, just as I thought the same thing about him.
I fucked him harder and our eye contact was only broken when Lorenzo’s eyes rolled up from pleasure.
He suddenly reached down to grab my wrists.
“Yes! Yes! Keep going like this! I’m gonna… gonna…”
Lorenzo’s eyes rolled up all the way and his mouth opened wide. I looked straight into his face and could hear spurt after spurt cum land on his chest and stomach, both of his hands still grabbing me.
“Fuck, that’s hot”, I said as I kissed him.
Lorenzo’s breathing was so intense, the kissing helped him calm down, even though my cock was still pulsing inside of his hole.
We changed positions so I could fuck him in a spooning position. It was great to be able to feel his thick buttcheeks against my hips as I fucked him. His moaning was such a turn on as well. Throughout the night he became more desperate for my cock.
Lorenzo came four times, three out of which without touching himself. I came twice. He wanted me to keep going but he had worn me out. The last thing I remember is falling asleep as he was cuddled up against me, kissing my chest, still playing with my spent, flaccid cock.
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