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| Chase |
Whether it was because he checked in on me more than my co-workers, and was at my desk regularly, or it was the casual touching of my shoulder or back every now and then, or just a wider smile than usual whenever we spoke… People caught on.
Shannon and Frankie were convinced he liked me. Thankfully, me saying I wasn’t going to pursue someone already in a relationship, especially someone I worked with, wasn’t too out of character.
I did wish I could have been prepared for when John stopped by the office. Chase had worked here for a few weeks now so I knew John had now also moved in. I guess I should have known it would happen one day. But on a Friday afternoon John was coming to pick Chase up for a date night.
Frankie of course wanted to know all about what they were off to do. As Chase was talking about the restaurant that had been recommended to them and their first visit to the Pasadena baseball stadium, I looked John over.
His blond crewcut, his chiseled features, his bulging muscles. About the same height as his boyfriend. John was everything I was not. He was a beautiful man. He was a little quiet compared to Chase, but they looked very good together.
Even though I had closed myself off to any possibility of doing anything with Chase ever again, suddenly meeting John did hurt a little bit. I couldn’t help but imagine how they would be in bed together. Their faces and bodies would be good enough for a porn movie, surely. Would Chase also take the lead with big bulky John like he had done with me?
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| Chase |
Actually getting a date was easier said than done however. The guys I talked to on dating apps would either lose interest as we were after different things or randomly stop talking altogether.
When I aired out my frustrations to Frankie on a lunch break, he promised we should go out and hit a gay bar together some time. I agreed. It sounded like it could be fun, and you never know who I might meet.
Frankie somehow managed to find new guys to sleep with on a very regular basis and was happily on to the next. Although his goals were different from mine, maybe he could teach me a thing or two on how to approach guys I liked.
By the end of that workday I knew I was working late. We had published an article on social media that was actually a very well-done interview with a 4th grade teacher, Shonda. The school she worked for had been bombarded with complaints about her teaching critical race theory. In the interview she explained that is actually something she doesn’t do and her belief is that 4th grade is too early for that subject.
The Facebook comment section had pretty much burst into flames below the article. It was quite obvious to me that most people had in fact not read the article, but just the headline and the photo of Shonda, an African American woman.
I had to keep a close eye on what was discussed in the comments. People were free to debate but derogatory comments about Shonda’s race kept coming in, which I couldn’t let go.
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| Chase |
I looked up. It was Chase. I realized suddenly it must have been late. The office was empty. It was just me and him.
“Good work on managing the comment section on that CRT article.”
“Oh, you saw?”
“Yeah, I knew it was going to be a tough topic for socials, so I checked the comment section every now and then. Saw the comment you stuck at the top and noticed how clean the debate had been. Must have been down to you.”
I looked back to my screen.
“They just keep going”, I said.
Chase chuckled.
“It’s almost 8. I need you to go home and get rest so you will function tomorrow.”
I smiled.
“OK.”
I shut down my computer.
“Hey, I hope it’s been OK… working with me”, he said.
OK. I guess we were going there.
“Yeah. Fine”, I said, avoiding eye contact.
“I know it’s not always easy for me, but… I’m glad we can be professional.”
I realized I really didn’t want to have this conversation.
“Of course.”
I looked up and we made eye contact. The chemistry was back instantly. I quickly looked away. I packed my bag, hoping to be out of here before anything else happened.
Suddenly I felt an arm around me.
“Hey”, I heard in his familiar baritone. “Please look at me. Talk to me.”
I stopped packing my bag but I still didn’t look at him.
“I really would rather go”, I said.
After a short pause, he let go.
“OK. Sorry.”
I closed my bag and flung it around my shoulder. I looked back at Chase. He looked sadder than usual.
“Have a great night”, he mumbled. “See you tomorrow.”
“See you tomorrow”, I replied.
Once I was in my car I felt my heart beating in my chest. Did he just say he was having a hard time working when I was around? What did that mean? I drove off and went home confused.
The next day, the discussion in the comments had thankfully died down. It was Friday and I was looking forward to getting drinks with Frankie in some gay bar tonight. I needed to let loose.
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| Chase |
I met Frankie in The Boulevard. It was still quite early. We sat at the bar and ordered a drink. I should have known, but Frankie addressed the Chase situation.
“I honestly think he likes you though.”
I shrugged.
“Doesn’t really matter if he does. He’s a nice guy, but… taken and you know, my boss.”
“If he was not your boss and single, would you be interested?”
“Sure!”
“OK, OK…”
Frankie looked around the room.
“I’m sure there’ll be potential good guys for you later on.”
In fact, there was a group of three guys that also sat by the bar. Because we formed this big group, it was easier to get to know them. This guy sitting next to me, Doug, even asked me what I did for a living.
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| Chase |
“Ravi! Frankie! Oh my God!”
Chase hugged us both. He’d had too much to drink.
“Babe!”
Chase told John we were here. The two other guys, Tim and Will, were introduced as John’s work friends. They were also quite big, burly guys. It was easy to tell they were straight.
Doug and his friends had turned away from us. The four guys who had just entered, stood around me and Frankie. Chase stood right next to me as I sat on the bar stool. His arm was wrapped around me again.
“I always wanted to see a gay bar, but it’s really not that different”, Tim said.
All four of them drank beer and continued to be loud. They talked about the game they had just been watching in a sports bar, which was of no interest to me. Frankie and I exchanged glances, although he seemed to enjoy what was unfolding much more. Seeing Chase intoxicated was possibly fun for him, whereas I worried about what might happen.
I noticed Doug and his friends had left, which was unfortunate.
“Can we go to a club? Go dancing? Meet some chicks maybe?”, Will suggested.
Tim was clearly very enthusiastic about this idea.
“Hey babe, you want to go to the club?”, John asked Chase.
“I’d rather stay with my work friends!”
Chase pulled me in. My face was at his chest level. It turned me on, but I also didn’t want it to happen at the same time.
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| Chase |
Frankie was soon distracted by this new guy who had walked in and he left me with Chase.
“Ravi. So good at your job, you are!”
“Chase…”
“You are!”
“Thanks.”
He leaned in to whisper in my ear.
“Sometimes I look at your bulge in the office. It always looks so good.”
“Chase, I think we gotta get you home.”
“What? I’m having a good time!”
I noticed he was having trouble focusing his eyes on me.
“I know, I know”, he continued. “You don’t have thoughts like that. You are a good boy.”
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| Chase |
“You are so sexy”, he then said.
I couldn’t exactly say no part of me was enjoying this, but the awkwardness of seeing him again in the office was going to be a lot to bear.
“I’m so sorry I didn’t tell you about John straight away. I didn’t say I had a relationship in my profile. I thought no-one would want to meet me.”
I smiled awkwardly as I searched for Frankie in the crowd.
“Would you have met up with me had you known I was in a relationship?”
“Of course!”
Chase seemed very surprised about my answer.
“Really?”
“Knowing ahead of time we would have been nothing more than friends, would actually have saved us a lot of trouble”, I said.
“I know, I know…”, he agreed.
“But I am still happy we fucked”, was the next thing out of his mouth.
“Oh boy”, I mumbled.
“Aren’t you? The sex was so good!”
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| Chase |
“John doesn’t fuck me like that. Your cock is so much nicer.”
“Chase, I think you shouldn’t say things like that.”
“Why not? We don’t have talks like you and I had either.”
“Well, I think that is something you should discuss with John.”
He shrugged.
“OK. I guess I can do that.”
Finally Frankie showed up again. Behind him there was this hot guy.
“Hey”, he said. “You two look pretty chummy.”
“Ravi is my best friend”, Chase slurred.
“Help”, I mouthed to Frankie.
“You two are going to be fine”, he responded. “You have a glass of water”, he told Chase. “And you… be careful.”
Frankie winked, took the hot guy’s hand and walked out.
“See you Monday!”, he said.
“OK”, I told Chase. “I’m going to go home too.”
“Can I come?”, he asked.
“No. But we can share an Uber if you want?”
“OK.”
I decided that getting my boss home safe would be the best thing to do right now. I ordered an Uber and started maneuvering Chase out of the bar. I didn’t realize how much trouble he would have to walk. He held on to me for dear life and being a big muscleguy, it was tough to carry him.
We sat in the car and at first, Chase couldn’t stop talking.
“It was so fun to see you outside of work. You are so nice. And so handsome.”
“I just hope you won’t remember this come Monday, for both of our sakes.”
Chase giggled and play-slapped my chest.
“Why would you say that? I never forget anything.”
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| Chase |
“Drunken co-worker?”, the driver asked.
“Worse. My boss.”
“Wow.”
He laughed.
Chase was snoring right into my ear when the driver pulled over at his house in Walnut. It was a beautiful home. I hoped that one day I could share a house like that with a guy I loved. Chase clearly wasn’t that happy in his relationship with John.
I hoped they would be able to figure it out. With Chase even moving here so that John could be promoted said a lot about how much they loved each other. As much as Chase was attracted to me and regardless of how that attraction may have been mutual, Chase and John must have a solid base as well.
“I’m just going to make sure he gets inside safely, OK? And I’ll be back.”
“Sure.”
The driver politely waited as I woke Chase up.
“Hmm? Babe?”
“It’s time to go to bed”, I said.
Chase only halfway opened his eyes. He threw his arms around me as I pulled him up, out of the car. He held on to me as I walked him to his front door.
“Thank you for taking care of me”, he said softly.
“No problem.”
Just as I was about to ask Chase if he had his keys on him, I suddenly felt his lips on mine. The kiss was so hot. Gentle. Careful. His tall, strong body was like putty in my hands, but Chase was still in charge.
I returned the kiss for 3, maybe 5 seconds.
“No. Chase…”
I forgot everything I was about to say. Behind him I saw another car had pulled up. John had just stepped out. He closed the door. Chase slowly turned around as well.
“Babe…?”
Fuck.
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